


I Want to Mean Something

by houndhear



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Feelings, Fix-It, Getting Together, Sort Of, i just want them to be together okay, it would be so interesting, it's mostly feelings, post-2x14
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 09:51:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11964918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/houndhear/pseuds/houndhear
Summary: The tiny gap between their mouths closed and they were kissing again, this time deeper and more hungry. Hands yanked at his jacket; he let it be ripped off his shoulders and dropped onto the asphalt. He reached out for her to pull her closer, but she was one step ahead, pressing against him and running her hands up his torso and arms until she had him pinned to the brick by his wrists. She lifted the hem of his shirt and her lips traveled down his muscular stomach, leaving a trail of desire in their wake—Jace shook the memories of that night out of his head. What was wrong with him? It was supposed to be just another hookup. Another one night stand. But his thoughts kept wandering back to Maia, and his feet kept carrying him back to the Hunter’s Moon.ORJace is having some trouble dealing with his feelings for Maia. Luckily for him, that night in the alley might've meant something to Maia, too.Set post 2x14





	I Want to Mean Something

**Author's Note:**

> This is pretty much just Jace's POV. I love Maia so much, but I wanted to look at her through the lens of someone else. Because Maia is amazing and deserves all the love in the world.
> 
> I know I'm a little late hopping on the Jace/Maia train, but honestly they'd be so interesting together. I'm not caught up with the season yet, so I don't know exactly what will go down with them/Clary/Simon, but I have a pretty good guess. If you want something done, you gotta do it yourself, right?
> 
> This is the first time I wrote anything on here (my first time writing any fic in general, too). Don't be afraid to tell me what you think! I'd rather have my work torn apart so I can improve than believe I'm good when I'm not XD

_His back slammed against the wall. She closed in on him, an almost predatory gleam in her eyes. With each step forward, her scent filled the space around him and masked the stench of the city, something he’d never quite gotten used to. Her mouth crashes into his, hard and rough and ready to devour him if he would allow it._

_They broke apart for a second, just long enough for her to murmur to him._

_“Don’t think this means anything.”_

_The tiny gap between their mouths closed and they were kissing again, this time deeper and more hungry. Hands yanked at his jacket; he let it be ripped off his shoulders and dropped onto the asphalt. He reached out for her to pull her closer, but she was one step ahead, pressing against him and running her hands up his torso and arms until she had him pinned to the brick by his wrists. She lifted the hem of his shirt and her lips traveled down his muscular stomach, leaving a trail of desire in their wake—_

Jace shook the memories of that night out of his head. What was wrong with him? It was supposed to be just another hookup. Another one night stand. But his thoughts kept wandering back to Maia, and his feet kept carrying him back to the Hunter’s Moon.

He pushed through the front door, breathing in the scent of the bar. Not that it smelled good— alcohol and surly men weren’t the best combination—but there was something secluded about the little room, something private. Something that reminded him of Maia, in a way. Tonight, there weren’t too many people inside, which meant he would be able to talk to her more than usual. The thought made his stomach churn. Maybe he should come back when it’s busier, and they can exchange a few snarky comments like they always do.

_No,_ Jace thought. He wasn’t going to close himself off again. His last relationship, if you can even call it that, may have been a trainwreck, but he liked feeling whatever it was that he felt for Clary. He wanted that again.

And, if he was being honest, Maia was the type of girl he’d get into another trainwreck for.

Steeling himself, he strode through the door and sat down on the nearest stool. At the other end of the bar, Maia poured a drink for an older-looking guy who, Jace guessed, was a werewolf. When she turned away, she saw him and slid up to him, smirking.

“So, shadowhunter, what’ll it be?” she asked, staring at him with brown eyes that always seemed to catch the light in just the right way. 

“Just a beer,” he replied. Then, a beat too late, he added, “Please?” She gave him a strange look but said nothing, and he mentally slapped himself. What was going on with him? He’d always been so confidant, but with Maia, he second-guessed everything he said or did. They saw each other naked, what was he so scared of? A short conversation? By the Angel, he fought demons on a daily basis. He fought Maia at least twice. He should be able order a drink.

The beer glass clinked on the table and Maia slid it towards him. His fingers briefly touched hers when he grabbed the cold drink. Overcome by nerves he wasn’t used to, he gulped down half the beverage in a few seconds.

“Slow down, you’re gonna choke,” Maia said.

“Worried about me?” Jace grinned in what he hoped was his usual, coscksure manner. A small part of him wished she would agree and throw her arms around him, confessing that she, too, was beginning to feel something.

“The Clave’s already breathing down my neck. I don’t wanna be the one responsible for murdering their golden boy.” At this, despite all logic and reason, he couldn’t help but feel disappointed.

“Well, then. I promise I won’t die.” He punctuated his sentence by taking another swig of beer.

“I’m not sure that’s a promise you can keep. I’ve seen your deathwish firsthand, remember?”

“Yeah, and you were planning on seeing it through,” he joked, immediately regretting bringing up what was probably still a sore subject. But, to his relief, Maia chuckled as if it was a fond memory. His heart fluttered at the sight of her smile—it warmed him to know he was the one who put it there—and he remembered what Sebastian said to him the morning after.

_“It’s that bartender, isn’t it? The beautiful one?”_

He had smiled then as he was right now, then proceeded to lie through his teeth.

_“It’s nothing serious.”_

He should’ve been content to leave it there. His heart, however, had different ideas.

“In my defense, you were kind of an asshole about the whole thing,” Maia rebutted, still half-smiling. Then the door to the Hunter’s Moon opened, and whoever came in caught Maia’s eye and made her whole face light up. “Simon, hey. Pint of O-neg, coming right up.”

Simon, the last person Jace wanted to see, plopped down on the stool next to his. He looked a lot better since he saw him a few days ago.

“Thanks, Maia,” Simon said, cheerful as ever. It didn’t last, though. As soon as he saw the person sitting next to him, his face drooped. “Hey, Jace.”

“Simon,” Jace replied, emptying his beer glass. Guilt creeped its way into Jace’s chest. _This_ was why he didn’t tell Clary they weren’t related. _This_ was why he didn’t want Simon to tag along on the Seelie Queen mission—this unbearable awkwardness that would haunt them as long as they were both still tied to Clary in one way or another. Although he never liked Simon too much, he never wanted to hurt him. Especially not like that.

_He was about to pull away, all too aware of the hurt eyes watching them, but the vines still clung to his body like a snake constricting its prey. So he continued, allowing Clary to get closer, to touch his face, to deepen the kiss. But while he played the Seelie Queen’s game, he could not help but wish he was somewhere else, doing this with someone else._

Maia slid the glass of blood towards Simon and refilled Jace’s pint. They struck up a lighthearted conversation, signaling to Jace that his time with Maia was over. He moved to a corner booth, envious of the way Simon spoke to her so earnestly and with such ease, while Jace could only throw out a few snide remarks.

_They have a lot in common,_ Jace thought. _No wonder she likes him._

Sipping his drink absentmindedly, he watched their interactions from the booth. Something akin to jealousy trickled into Jace’s veins, and within a few moments of genuine laughter from Maia, it pulsed through his entire body, propelled by the arrhythmic beating of his heart.

_Stop it. You aren’t together. You have no right to feel this way. Especially not after all you did to her. And Simon—_

_Simon makes her happier than you ever could._

A part of him screamed to leave. To pay for his drinks, walk out the door, and never look back. Live that lonely life he was destined for. Yet he couldn’t seem to move, transfixed by the light dancing across her skin, into her warm eyes, and through curls that bounced when she laughed or shook her head. Every time she glanced in his direction, he smirked in the worst way possible, which earned him either an eye roll or a refill.

Eventually, Simon left, as well as most of the other bar patrons. Maia chased out a few stragglers until it was just the two of them.

“Hey, blondie,” she called from across the room. “Closing time.”

“Thanks for the heads up,” Jace replied, only a little tipsy. Definitely not drunk enough to say or do any of the stupid things that made up his daydreams as of late. After waiting a few seconds, he stretched and brought his empty glass to the bar.

“How courteous of you,” Maia sneered, leaning over to grab it.

“I’m the poster-child for good manners.” Jace set down enough money to cover his bill and a generous tip. He determined that it will be the last one he gives her—a promise he’s made a few times, but never managed to follow through.

He was almost out the door when Maia said, “You know, I thought you’d spend more time with Clary now instead of at a shitty bar.” She stared him down, arms crossed and back against the wall, daring him to answer. Her usual relaxed demeanor was off; there was tension in her shoulders and her face held a carefully neutral expression.

“Simon told you, huh?” he asked, taking a few steps towards her so they were facing each other. But to him, they weren’t close enough—he doubted they would ever be close enough again.

“Did you think he wouldn’t?” Maybe it was the alcohol, but he could’ve sworn he heard a twinge of hurt in her voice.

“I guess not,” was all he said. The Hunter’s Moon, even though it was a hotspot for werewolves with a grudge against him, had never felt more uninviting. The more time that passed without a spoken word, the thicker the air became until Jace was practically suffocating. Maia seemed unfazed, just watching him through clear eyes, mouth pressed into a line. She had him trapped in a room that felt smaller now than it did earlier, and she tortured him with her silence.

Jace waited.

He waited, suffering through the stillness of it. They were in a photograph, a frozen moment in time. He could do nothing but wait. Not blink. Not breathe. Wait.

Finally, centuries culminated into the shallow intake of breath that preceded Maia’s words, setting the whole world in motion.

“You said you didn’t love her.”

“You said it meant nothing,” Jace fired back before he could think. Her eyes widened for a fraction of a second. _Maybe she does feel the same,_ he thought. Then she shook her head, erasing any emotion she might’ve let slip out.

“See you tomorrow, Jace.” She didn’t turn away or wave him off; she just stared at him with a challenge written across her face, almost as if she was banking on him walking into the street and never coming back. On him walking away from her.

Jace stood halfway between the bar and the door, unmoving. Halfway between a mistake and good judgement. The problem was that he didn’t know which was which.

Under normal circumstances, he would’ve left. He would’ve realized that this, or any relationship right now, was a bad idea. That there were dozens of other guys who deserved her more than him, whom she deserved more than him. But the effect she had on him whenever she was around, how she pushed him farther than anybody else, was intoxicating. How far could he go if she was the one pushing him beyond his limits?

He took a step forward.

“She said the same thing. ‘This means nothing.’” A smile tugged at his lips. “I guess I don’t mean anything to anyone, do I?” He rested his elbows on the counter and folded his hands to keep them from fiddling nervously.

“Jace—” she uncrossed her arms “—you don’t mean that.”

“There it is again, not meaning anything.” Inwardly, he celebrated; now he was the one with a challenge, and she’d have to make her choice. He already made his.

For a second, it seemed like two forces pulled her in different directions. Towards the bar or towards the door. Her body drifted slightly forward, but it tensed up again and glued her to her position.

“I might be wrong, but didn’t the Seelie Queen say, ‘the kiss you desired most’?” she said, evening the playing field. “Seelies don’t lie.”

“No,” he hummed in agreement. “But she didn’t ask _me._ ”

Mutual understanding passed between them, but it wasn’t enough. A barrier of smooth wood and uncertainty still blocked the way. Jace decided that it was up to him to climb it.

“Clary was right about one thing.” He swung his legs over the counter and dropped to the floor, only a couple of inches in front of Maia. “That kiss meant nothing. At least, not to me.”

Maia locked eyes with him. Despite her reluctance to move closer, she did not move away either.

“How do I know for sure?”

This was it—the invitation he was waiting for. He cupped her cheek, his hand a feather brushing her skin, and drew himself closer. Their lips connected in a way Jace had never experienced before. It wasn’t hungry or desperate. It was the sun rising out of the ocean, the scent of a delicious meal.

When they separated, Maia’s arms were wrapped around him, preventing him from pulling back even if he wanted to.

“You don’t,” Jace replied, grinning. “But you will. Because from now on, you’re my first choice. And I’ll keep choosing you until you believe it.”

Maia chuckled at his little speech. That warmth spread through him again, the one that ignited whenever he made her smile, and this time, Jace knew he would be warm long after he left the bar.

**Author's Note:**

> The ending might be a cheese-fest, but oh man, I just eat that shit up.
> 
> Again, I'd really appreciate any critiques or comments you have.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
